• Made my first Tumblr blog
• Convinced [Tagged Friend] to make a Tumblr blog
• Joined Twitter
• Posted my first tweet
• Had a homoerotic dream about [Tagged Friend]
• Watched a shitty movie the whole way through on Netflix
• Was apparently influential about “Matthew McConaughey” on Klout for a period of time
• Followed a link to a Rage Comic posted by [Tagged Friend] and questioned [Tagged Friend]’s sense of humor
• Hovered cursor over “Like” on photo of [Tagged Friend], but did not click “Like” 
• Wrote a blog post, saved it as a draft, forgot about it, remembered it when I wrote about forgetting about it when adding it to Timeline
• Downloaded Words with Friends app, forgot password, made new account, still probably will not play
• Googled all the names of people I knew in elementary school that I could remember
• Deactivated Facebook
• Tripped on raised part of sidewalk, looked around to make sure nobody saw
• Unable to find person to take over apartment lease
• Clogged the toilet at [Tagged Friend]’s house
• Woke myself up with my own laughter
• Caught my reflection in the door of the bus and thought I looked like a baby owl in my ugly brown sweater
• Fitter
• Got a hair cut
• Happier
• Rubbed black sockfeet against the bars of the bed, it sounded like a jacket sleeve brushing against the bars on a jungle gym
• And more productive
• Reactivated Facebook
• Thought about jobs
• Scrolled through jobs on Craigslist
• 1 Fish
• E-mailed a bunch of people on Craigslist, asking them if they will take over my lease, but not in those words
• 2 Fish
• Didn’t want to [do something]
• Red Fish
• Walked past a chola in a wheelchair chasing ducks
• Blue Fish
• Discovered library.nu
• Picked at a double double—at In-N-Out, 4:37 P.M.
• Watched an episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras”
• Wanted to [do something]
• Forgot social security number in dire situation
• Slowly acquired taste for beer
• Downloaded Spotify
• A firefighter handed me my laptop cord and iPhone
• A firefighter yelled at me
• A firefighter kissed me on the cheek and told me I smelled nice
• Compiled a list of true and false Life Events
• Sang along to a bunch of Beyoncé songs

3:04 pm  •  28 December 2011  •  15 notes  •  View comments